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April 13th, 2009

02:19 pm - Because I was asked As I mentioned in my last post, I would not post again for sometime unless otherwise asked. I have been asked. I haven't been awake that long, I got up I don't know, noon I guess, no little before. I hung out with Cait at the mall directly after and we walked to the beach and talked and walked back. I am now hungry, I wish for food. Current Location: Home Current Mood: hungry Current Music: Junkie XL - Cities in Dust

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April 12th, 2009

08:38 am - Time isn't really a Lime, but it would be sweeter if it was. So I'm at work again today. As I think I might have said yesterday I would be. It is currently 8:39am. I have many hours of work left. More hours than you would wish to be working, I am sure of this. I just finished reading all of a good and important friends' third livejournal. I don't think I made any appearances in any of her entries but honestly, I couldn't tell because she has a clever way of writing. Not to mention, her entries, like mine, are spread out and rather uninformative while being rather recreational and full of detail. You know what I don't like? I don't like the human concept of Time. I don't like how we record it, track it, or do much of anything with it. I can't really blame anyone in particular for it. Even if I could, usually it's completely useless to blame someone for anything. Maybe I could blame myself for conforming to the current dictatorship of Time Management. Those are the rules of engagement though. It's just how it works, nothing you can do about it. I don't remember why I made a Livejournal. I could probably look at my older entries and figure it out, but I think I did that once already and did not enjoy this. I think Monica, a friend from High School who I recently saw at her birthday party among other people from High school I had not seen in awhile, might have been the original cause. I'm not positive about that though, but it seems possible. When did I start writing here? 2003? I'm not sure I knew her well enough for that in 2003. I wonder if my entries are private. So far this one says it isn't. There's a little drop box down at the bottom of the page. It tells me this is for Everyone, public as it were. Do you know how hard it is to type with one hand, or both hands, while also on the phone and directing people, constantly. It's not that easy. Did I mention many of these people seem to lose all intelligence the instance they call here? It's true, I don't know why. I think it must be part of the same Energy Syphon system the hospital has that takes away my energy while I work. I just looked at the entry I made yesterday. I said "Already". I believe I meant "Alright", I suppose I could go edit that, but screw that. Effort I don't feel like putting forth. I don't really know why I'm still typing this up. It should have ended many a minute ago, but I am at work and I find my enjoyment and entertainment where I can. I will explain something now I believe. I am happy, generally speaking. Sure I have times of distress, sadness, anger, general grumpiness and all sorts of other emotions. All those things are required though. If you were merely happy all the time, happiness itself would lose all meaning and you'd just be an asshole. The question is, could I be happier? I could indeed be happier. And you ask how? Well I shall tell you how! One: Get my damned school nonsense in order and figure that out. Two: Put more effort behind teaching myself Japanese. Three: Actually, I just one and two are the only logical ones right now. There are other things that would make me happier, but these things are currently inaccessible at the moment and cannot truly be acted on and blah blah blah. Oh you know what, I got glasses recently. I still have 20/15 vision, but I have astigmatism and really I just need them for driving in the dark. I still play video games, quite a bit of them. I went to Ringling recently, to visit. Not for myself, it's not a place I belong at all I can tell you that. It's an extremely nice school. The faculty and student body were all mostly enjoyable and seemed intelligent enough. No I was there to take my friend Phillip. It was accepted student day. He got accepted to the school, not for his original choice of degree, but for Digital Film. Which was very cool in it's own right really. That was a good day. Alright, this has really gone on for far too long now. Don't expect another entry any time soon unless someone specifically asks for one, for some reason. PS: My notebook at work is broken, and I didn't feel like getting a new one so I just fixed it with scotch tape. I like it more now. PSS: http://scavar.deviantart.com/ Current Location: Broward General Current Mood: busy Current Music: Stratovarious - Dreamspace

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April 11th, 2009

06:37 pm - Obligatory Livejournal Post So I'm at work. It's 6:38pm. I leave at 7pm. This is good news. The bad news? I work again tomorrow my normal 7am to 7pm schedule. I worked today on no sleep. Well there might have been some sleep last night, but I'm pretty sure wasn't. And that's that really. Already people who don't exist that read this, later. Current Location: Broward General Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Lordi - Pet The Destroyer

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January 7th, 2009

01:41 am - What time is it? I don't write in journals much, every now and then I think about it, I think I've written entries before saying I will write more entries. That never happens. I have a lot to write about, but I have nothing to write about at all, you do indeed know what I mean, even if you don't. Awhile back, through Kenny, I met Grethel. She's cool, we hang out now. Matt's sister got married recently. That was actually pretty fun, except for how I ended up being part of the wedding planner crew, but actually that was kind of cool too. I don't know why I'm writing this, or why I'm awake or online right now, no reason to be, but whatever. I find that Two-Thousand Eight was a good year, mostly because of all the video games that came out that were good, and it was an even numbered year. Despite all the years of me ratting on Apple and iPods, I bought an iPod, and even use iTunes for it. It's pretty good actually, iPod Classic 120GB. I think all these touch things are too gimmicky at the moment, it is a step in the right direction for what I want in the future. What was I talking about? Oh I guess I was dating Tiffany again somehow, but then we weren't because she randomly moved to Texas, so whatever. I don't know what any of that was about. I don't know, that's it for this entry. Don't expect another one for awhile. Oh, I guess if I have a resolution, its to continue on my "work out" and get a little more in shape/lose weight. Also, to find a better job and figure out what I actually want to do with myself. And that's that. 2009, it'll be a lot like walking your dog. Current Location: Home Current Mood: curious Current Music: Persephone - The Man Who Swallowed My Soul

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January 2nd, 2009

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September 6th, 2008

02:00 am - The Powers That Be, and I. So I apparently have readers. I greet you readers, and thank you for reading, what there is to be read. My Uncle Juan came in today(Friday), and that's pretty cool. I had a dream once about him, and that he was actually Jaun Ponce de Leon and we did some treasure hunting and such. It was entertaining. On another note, I also don't work this weekend. Originally I thought I was getting sick, but I seem to be fine right now. Which is good, because if Ike does hit(and it seems like Ike will hit) I'll have to go into work during the storm. Spore is awesome, also hard when you get to space. Mercenaries 2: World in Flames is also awesome, and just hard half the time. I'm replaying Mass Effect, Oblivion, and Neverwinter Nights 2 + Mask of the Betrayer. Currently concentrating on NWN2 + MotB because they have another expansion coming out in October I believe. No girlfriend, I'd like to have a girl friend. Oh well, what can you do. Current Location: Home Current Mood: awake Current Music: Nuttin' But Stringz - Broken Sorrow

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September 4th, 2008

02:54 pm - Wikka Wakka Hello hello. That's all. Later. Current Location: Home Current Mood: apathetic Current Music: Mixed by Judge Jules - Cosmic Gate - Ultra Curve

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September 16th, 2007

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May 7th, 2007

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November 1st, 2006

12:25 am - Holy shit I have a livejournal So I had almost completely forgotten about this thing. I can see why too. Most of my posts are nonsense and garbage that don't do much of anything for anyone, including myself. Hell, even this one is foolish. I couldn't remember my password either, and I was too lazy to get it. I did finally get around to it though. Some guy defending the Ex-boyfriend of a friend of mine was pestering me about stuff. Not to mention I was bored and nothing else to do. You want to know whats going on my life? Not really too much to be interested in. Going to class, seem to be passing everything. Hang out with Brett and Kenny now and then. Sometimes Austin and company. Aaron too, hes a new guy at met a school; trying to get me into Magic the Gathering. I might just for the hell of it, especially since he gave me like a thousand cards. More importantly, Neverwinter Nights 2 out so soon. I should have it by tomorrow. Halloween was boring, I got invited to some parties but didn't feel like going. I thought about going out and scaring some children, but people are jumpy these days so I just avoided that. Stayed home and hung out with my parents, had pizza. Was relaxing. Oh yeah, my room got completely torn up and redone. Ton of new furniture and paint and stuff. I am also saving up to buy a laptop. Current Location: Home Current Mood: apathetic Current Music: Pantera - Drag The Waters

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July 20th, 2006

02:42 am - Some kind of something. (Click here to post your own answers for this meme.) ✓ I miss somebody right now. ✓ I don't watch much TV these days.  (I never really have.) ✓ I own lots of books.  (Wait till I get the rest out of storage.) × I wear glasses or contact lenses. ✓ I love to play video games.  (I am a gamer thank you.) ✓ I've tried marijuana.  (Hated it.) ✓ I've watched porn movies.  (It has happened.) × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.  (Hmm, not as I would define it. Maybe though.) ✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.  (At least these days.) ✓ I curse sometimes. ✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.  (You could say that.) ✓ I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.  (I have a pocket knife on my keys.) ( it goes on... ) Current Location: Library/Office at home Current Mood: complacent Current Music: The Gathering - Beautiful War

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June 14th, 2006

02:00 am - Haha emergency entry! So Vanessa is reading my journal apparently, and it is possible that it makes me look like a fool of some sort. So you just ask me about anything you read, and chances are I can explain, if I read the entry. lol Current Location: Home Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Tristania

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May 30th, 2006

03:11 pm - Meant to right this sooner So I found out like a day later, she was dating someone else at the same time, a 37 year old male married and with children. For whatever reason choose him over me(Which is the better choice for I would have left her anyways if I had found out). That was the only excuse she could come up with to break up with me apparently so whatever. In the long run she wasted my time, reaffirmed a decision I had made before, and wasted my credits on IMVU. In other news, I enjoy talking to Jess. All things considered, if we are ever more then friends, is almost entirely up to her. On my end, I would like to know her for longer, and for her to be closer in relative distance. So either way, it would be some months before anything would happen. As a side note, I have done my best to actually not try and pre-think any of that, as that normally gets in the way with anything with me. Anyways, thats it. Current Location: Home Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Lardypants.....Lordi....I meant Lordi

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May 20th, 2006

12:08 am - Damn man, damn. So this one time, I figured I wouldn't tell my mom, because in the past it had always been a problem. Instead this time it was the destroying block. That thing with Kris fell apart. I thought it was great, but I was wrong. Maybe she will talk to me again. It really doesn't seem like she will. So unless she does. No more distance relationships. Never. Meeting people online, no, not at all unless they are within an hour. Relationships at all? No to that too. Just time. Only time can save us now. Only time will save us now. Only time can do what time can do. What is someone to do? She was important, but what am I going to do cry? No, that won't make her want me back and not be upset to me. I already apologiezed though I am still no entirely sure what happened. All I can say is, I may have missed something great. Current Location: Home Current Mood: confused Current Music: ICP

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May 19th, 2006

11:03 am - Secrets secrets! Today I was awoken rudely due to our alarm going off for no reason. Luckly I caught the phone call, so I didn't have to talk to any cops, that usually get all annoyed when there is nothing oing on. I must say, that Kris only gets more interesting, and, I don't really have the words to describe at the moment. Everything is different everytime, but it is different. I can just see how some people would respond to that. Josh, not you Cohn. Josh. We left off on bad terms I know. It was all my fault too. There really isn't anything I can do about it now. I spoke with Cira, and I spoke with Carson. Both of them told me, that you wouldn't have kept hard feelings for me. If not for myself, then for them, or for yourself. I am sorry. In many ways. I am sorry it took me reading something from someone else, to even see how important it was. There a lot of things to go with that. Nothing I can do now. I guess, maybe I will see you again someday, I don't know how that works, but you do. Maybe, maybe. You know. I think it has something to do with the sleeping. Who falls asleep on the phone? I never have. Never had anyone else do it. She does, and yeah I know how you can turn that around, but she would rather hang up, then fall asleep to me talking. Of course, it is a lot more then that, just that means more then you might think. You know, I always say that I am never going to write in this, but I do anyways. Not sure what brings me back to it. Boredom I suppose. A lot of things are going on, in a lot of places, with a lot of this and a lot of that. Very much so I could write about all of them, but you know what, really none of it has anything to do with me personally, so why should I write about it all? Maybe things work out in the end for everyone, but who knows, except for those who have had the end come. Current Location: Home Current Mood: awake Current Music: The Gathering

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May 11th, 2006

03:54 am - Damn you Ares! So it turns, as usual, that paranoia was all wrong. In fact, I would say Kris and I on a good progression route, taking this a lot smarter then all my previous relationships though. I played a bunch of God of War today, having never played it before. That game is pretty damn awesome. Been wathcing and reading lots of E3 things as well. On another note, I went to go see Hard Candy with Kenny, Matt, Josh, and Josh's friends Max and Cathrine(Spelling/not sure if that was her name). I personally suggest, that you do not see this movie. I mean really, it had some moments of memory, but really it is just, just no. And thank you Monica for watching me lol Current Location: Home Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Otep

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May 9th, 2006

01:05 am - When it comes, I go My stomach has been bothering me all day. For no apparent reason. Must be a virus I think. You see, the bad thing about my stomach hurting that many people do not know, is that I get insanely paranoid. I currently think that my few friends hate me. That I failed all my classes. That Kris, girl I am interested in with return feelings, is hiding from me. And loads of other things. On a base level, I know these aren't true. But right now.... I am almost positive someone is watching me right now, though I have no idea wht anyone would be. Yeah I am crazy.....but I swear...something just doesnt feel right......nothing feels right at all, and its like that every stomach ache. I just cant but think....thats its all true sometimes... EDIT: I would like to mention at this point, that apparently my friends dont hate me, and Kris was in fact not hiding from me at all. As a matter of fact I did speak to her that night after I wrote this, and everything was A-Ok. Current Location: Home Current Mood: Paranoid Current Music: The Gathering

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April 29th, 2006

08:53 pm - Finished I drove to Tallahassee to pick up Matt and help him, and I ended up doing a lot more. I didn't really mind so much, but honestly, what these people would have done had I not gone, I do not know. There was of course a fairly large chance that I might not have gone. I drove 995 miles. To there, around there, and back here. That is the most I have ever driven myself in one trip. Guess i'll have to drive an extra 5 miles next time. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: The Gathering

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April 25th, 2006

05:15 pm - I am tired of it all You know what I am tired of? I am tired of what I am doing right now. Ranting. Everyone rants about this and rants about that and goes on about what should be and what shouldn't be done. In the end none of these people care enough to actually do something. It is increasingly annonying when the people are talking about politics. How does one rant about rants, and not seem hypocritical? I'll tell you how. Tomorrow morning I leave for Tallahassee to do things, and thats what, while im there maybe ill make an appointment and go see Jeb Bush...... So that isn't going to happen while I am there, and it wouldn't do anything, because that isn't what I am ranting about. You, you who might be reading this, I could be ranting about you. I could be ranting about your mother, cousin, or anyone else who happens to write in a newspaper, write a blog, keep a livejournal, have a myspace, some instant messenger system, or any other thing in the world. It gets bad when its an acclaimed author or well known scientist, because they are clearly knowledgable and do things about their rants. Which isn't entirely true. So basically, I hate rants. Yet, I am worse then the ranters, for I listen to the rants, I rant myself, and I do nothing to halt ranting. So if I was to hate anything about myself, it would be that. Stop ranting you damn ranters. As I mentioned though, I am driving up to Tallahassee tomorrow, and im excited about that, it will if nothing else, remove me from current position for some time. Current Location: Home Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Minibosses - Wizards and Warriors

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April 22nd, 2006

02:22 pm - That which fails to die has been apparently living in the closet! It wasn't until some months ago that I realized he existed. Always looking over my shoulder, commenting on what I was doing. He would hide in the shadows if others came along. Eventually I knew he existed though. I realized just how much it was his favor in the afterlife for my success, as my own will and strength. He always was a stubborn one, even when he was over taken with fear. I should known early on that he would never wanted to leave me, even his death. All this time he has been alive, and I have done nothing in attempt to join him, or bring him fully to me. That is I believe, why they baffled me so. Humans, a cliche of existence. They seem to solely exist, to further their own existence, but then what else is there? What does it even matter now. He was still the lucky one, but now, neither of us show luck. Current Location: Home Current Mood: content Current Music: June Reactor

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